After trying repeatedly to reconcile your differences with your spouse, you both conclude that you cannot save your marriage. It seems the only thing you can agree on is getting a divorce–which is good because at least it’s a start.
Before you are eligible to file for a divorce in North Carolina, you and your spouse must live separately for at least a year. You can just imagine how that will affect your children. The best thing you can do for your kids right now is to focus on them and make them your top priority despite the emotional turmoil you are going through.
How to prioritize your kids during the separation and divorce
Regardless of your resentment toward your spouse, you cannot change the fact that they are your children’s other parent. Your children deserve a strong and fulfilling relationship with both their parents as they adapt to living at two homes. For that to happen, you may have to adjust and learn to collaborate with the person from which you just recently separated. Here are valuable tips that can help you prioritize your children during your separation and divorce:
- Do all you can to ensure your children know that both parents deeply love them.
- Assure safety and structure by establishing routine and consistency throughout the two households.
- Work on a feasible co-parenting plan and schedule with the other parent and get it in writing.
- Create a discipline and reward system you and the other parent can agree with.
- Set boundaries.
- Protect your children from guilt or blame.
- Do not alienate them from their other parent.
It will take commitment and acceptance from you and your co-parent, but your children will need to feel safety and security from you both now more than ever.
Always fulfill your parental obligations
While navigating the complexities of co-parenting, you must do everything in your power to fulfill your parental obligations. How you are as a parent during the separation may affect a child custody order in the future. Do not let your divorce distract you from being the parent you know you can be and the parent your kids deserve.